Submitted by: S. Maharaj

Eloping can be exciting and some may believe it’s the right thing to do. Is it? What can make women accept the idea of eloping? Coming from an East Indian family can make things difficult for women. So finally you found that right guy that you would love to settle with but wait, there’s problem. You’re not the same religion as he is. Damn! Well you didn’t honestly believe things would be so easy and simple in life, did you?

There will always be something or someone to hinder your relationship. Most common ones are religion, race, families, friends and my favorite, past. You know how our parents, drill the idea of eloping in our head from the day we hit puberty. “Don’t run away from home. Your dad and I won’t be able to live in this town anymore. Don’t date another race or religion, hell! Don’t date at all. Blah! Blah! Blah” Well that’s the truth about us. Some times I blame those lame Indian movies where the boy and the girl are so much in love that they don’t have a choice but to elope. The difference between that couple and you; this is the real world and that’s movie. Yes! They survived but can you?

Before you even think about eloping, have all the facts in front of you. Do both of you have a stable good paying job? Have you finished your school? Where will you stay? Can you even balance out a check book? These questions may seem dumb and you might be thinking, of course I can handle anything once im with my love, but, can he? Usually I have noticed between the ages of 18-21 that women feel the urge of running away. Why? Well think about it, so young, just out of HIGH SCHOOL and think their grown up. But are they? You be the judge of that. Do you honestly believe some 20 year old couple can survive in this world? I don’t think they can and I use to be that 20 year old thinking I can elope and make it in the world. You can, but know one it, it’s hard. Luckily my senses kicked in before I took that step since I know I wouldn’t have survived at all

What I’m trying to say is to wait. There is a moment for everything. If the idea of eloping came across your mind then reevaluate everything. From your relationship with your parents to your lovers. What makes you feel that way? Is it because you see others around you have more freedom of doing things then you do? I really hope that’s not the case. If you’re thinking how strict your parents are and they will never accept a Punjabi guy for me since I’m a Hindu but then, think again. You can be surprised by your parent’s decision and just because at one point they might have said how they would want you to marry someone in your race and religion; you just never know when they change their mind

At least try and understand where your parents are coming from. I’m not saying that the man your with won’t make you happy just but at least do your parents a favor by not eloping. Ladies, our parents brought us into this world and no matter how they are, they’re still your parents so always try and keep that in mind. The age I’m at now, I could never elope and get married since that’s not me.

If your partner is the one pushing you to elope, and you’re afraid he’ll think less of you if you don’t, then please get out of that relationship. Any relationship can not work if there’s any sort of pressure in it especially coming from the two involved. If you’re a woman between the ages of 18-23, the last thing you need to have on your mind is to elope. Go out and enjoy your life. After all you’re still young and there’s so many years left to enjoy a married life. My advice, wait for few years and then check back and see if you still feel the same after you have completed your education and got a nice job. Enjoy your life ladies, you all deserve it.